The Story Behind the Story

What does it really take to write a book… and build a message people connect with?

In this episode of The Back Office, I sit down with author, storyteller, and entrepreneur Shelby Gardner to talk about the unseen side of authorship, vulnerability, branding, and creating something meaningful in public.

Shelby recently released her book, Lily Pads: remembering, reclaiming, & tracing back to where Jesus has always been—a deeply personal and interactive heart study designed to help readers revisit their stories and discover where Jesus has been present all along.

But this conversation goes far beyond the pages of a book.

We talk about the emotional weight of writing honestly, the discipline it takes to finish creative work, the business side of being an author, building an authentic brand online, and what it looks like to create while balancing family, entrepreneurship, and faith.

Whether you’re a writer, entrepreneur, creator, or simply someone trying to build something meaningful, this conversation offers both encouragement and practical insight into the process behind the product.

Show Notes
Guest: Shelby Gardner
Business: Author of Lily Pads,  Writer of The Lily Letters

Shelby Gardner is the author of Lily Pads: remembering, reclaiming, & tracing back to where Jesus has always been, writer of The Lily Letters, entrepreneur, storyteller, wife, mom, and someone who has built a platform rooted in vulnerability, honesty, and faith.

Learn More:

https://shelbygardner.com/

Book: Lily Pads: remembering, reclaiming, & tracing back to where Jesus has always been: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0GN2V1NMM?ref=cm_sw_r_ffobk_cp_ud_dp_3X8XKW5236228D1WPB82_1&ref_=cm_sw_r_ffobk_cp_ud_dp_3X8XKW5236228D1WPB82_1&social_share=cm_sw_r_ffobk_cp_ud_dp_3X8XKW5236228D1WPB82_1&bestFormat=true

Newsletter: The Lily Letters: https://thelilyletters.wordpress.com/

About The Back Office

Hosted by Dalayna Dillon
Founder & Creative Director of Signify Marketing

The Back Office invites listeners into honest conversations about marketing, growth, leadership, and the real decisions shaping active businesses.

Facebook/Instagram: @signifymarketingsocial 

www.signifymarketing.social

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:06

Welcome to the back office. I'm Delena Dillon, the founder and creative director of Signify Marketing, and this is where you get to sit in on real strategy. Each episode, we step inside an active business and have honest conversations about marketing, growth, leadership, and the decisions shaping what happens next. No one has it fully figured out, but we are building anyway. And today's conversation is a little different than our usual episodes, but honestly, it fits the heart of this show so perfectly. So because behind every book, every brand, every message that resonates with people, there is a process most people never get to see. So today I'm joined by Shelby Gardner, author of Lily Pads, Remembering, Reclaiming, and Tracing Back to where Jesus has always been, writer of the Lily Letters, entrepreneur, storyteller, wife, mom, and someone who has built a platform rooted in vulnerability, honesty, and faith. So in this episode, we're gonna talk about the real behind-the-scenes process of writing and releasing a book, the business side of authorship, building an authentic brand in a noisy world, yes and amen, and what it looks like to create from a place of honesty instead of performance. So Shelby brings so much warmth and depth to this conversation. And I think whether you are a writer, an entrepreneur, creator, or simply someone trying to build something meaningful, you're gonna take a lot away from this one. So Shelby, welcome to the back office. Thank you so much for having me. Well we are yeah, we're excited to hear about you and your venture and all the things. So take us back, maybe give us a little intro because I know you do, yes, you just authored this book, but you do writing regularly. So tell us a little bit about what you're doing in the field of writing. Yeah, no, I'd love to.

SPEAKER_01 2:00

So I have always had a passion for writing. I actually got an English degree from ORU. Uh, I remember even as a little kid, I would always write just like the silliest stories. And so it's always been something I loved. I'm an avid journaler, so I'm always writing something. And I have a blog that I have been super passionate about uh for quite a while called The Lily Letters. So I write in that every single week. Um, and it's kind of like my online journal. So anything I learn or hear or, you know, go throughout my weeks uh learning from someone or something, I love to journal about it and invite other people into the conversation. So I've been doing that for a while and LilyPads, I published in January. Um it was kind of a whirlwind, but I had been working on it for probably two years. Um it was quite a while. And so yeah, I'm just at this point now um really devoted to I have probably on my desktop maybe six other books that I want to write. Some of my goodness, you know, all different sorts fiction, nonfiction, that sort of thing. Uh, because I'm always just finding things to write about. So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:12

That is, I think people have these ideas potentially, but to take that step to put it to paper, so to speak, or put it to computer, yeah, it it's I'm sure it's not easy. Right. Yeah, I'm sure it's not so where did Lily pads first begin with you? Did was it a compilation compilation? I never can say that word very well. You did great compilation of the Lily letters, or is it is it more than that? Is it different direction than that?

SPEAKER_01 3:39

So it's definitely it's similar in the sense that all of it is my heart and what I'm learning and how I want to share about it. Uh, but Lily pads is more of the storytelling. So I start each section with a story from my own past in a way to invite people into their own story, because that is my heart is to show people, hey, your story is super valuable and your story matters, and people need to hear your story. And God has been in your story for a really long time. And so LilyPads is that starting with my story, and then through a lot of journaling prompts, inviting people into their own story. So if I'm talking about struggling with identity, I'm then asking, okay, where have you struggled with identity? Um, when have you felt lonely? Here was when I felt lonely, where have you felt lonely? And then just uncovering those hard, painful memories that many of us like to cover up, you know, and never talk about. And then for me, it's putting Jesus in the middle of all of it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:43

So um so is this like an interactive book?

SPEAKER_01 4:46

Yes. Okay. I I have called it a heart study. I I'm saying devotional, yeah. Uh, but not in the sense of like you have day one, day two, day three. Because I was super passionate about not creating something that became a burden or just a routine or a task to check off the list. So in my intro, I say if you find yourself going through the motions with these questions, put it down and come back to it next week, next month, whenever you're ready to dive in again. So it's yeah, super interactive.

SPEAKER_00 5:14

So the questions are more to help you process the content. Yes, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 5:19

And apply it. Right. And apply it and dig deep in within yourself, finding more that you didn't know was there. So was there a moment when you knew that this needed to be a book? Yes. So I actually was sitting, and this was where the word the title Lily Pads comes from. I was sitting on my back porch journaling one day. And I was super disappointed. You know, I where our family was at the time, it had felt like we took five steps forward forward and then six steps back. And I was sitting on my back porch journaling about that and thinking that language is so poor. Like that's so discouraging. The way we talk about, you know, life is like a staircase. You take steps forward and then you fall down. Yeah. And then I was just sitting there, I was like, what else could I call that? And then lily pads came to mind. And it's just been this really cool picture, how it's played out, and that like life is more like, you know, we're on a pond and there's seasons everywhere. Not none of them are bad, none of them are going backwards. Um, it's all just a different season where we get to learn and grow from, and we don't have to view it all as a negative if it's not what we're hoping life would look like.

SPEAKER_00 6:26

Yeah, because when you put it in the context of like a staircase, it's moving up and moving down, right? Or even stepping, I don't know, roadblocks. Your step going forward, going backward. For sure. But if you look at it like a pond and lily pads, it's just a different place. Yeah, yeah, right. That's really good. I love that. Yeah. Because we all it's in us, it's in us to want to move forward and to progress. And a lot of times that's in the context of comparing it to where someone else is.

SPEAKER_01 6:56

Exactly. Yeah. Well, and that's too, it's like, what are you trying to arrive at? Because no matter how much money you make, no matter where you go, there's always somewhere more, better, bigger to go. And it just is feels hopeless. And so that was my heart is showing other other women, other people, hey, those hard seasons, like they are just as valuable as the good seasons, and you can find something really powerful in them too.

SPEAKER_00 7:19

Yeah. So what part of your own story shaped this project the most? Hmm, that's a great question.

SPEAKER_01 7:27

Probably my my family, uh, we have, whenever me and my husband first got married, about a year after we got married, we experienced just a really bad tragedy of losing his dad. And it was very unexpected. And the next two years became uh caretaking for his mom, who was 100% handicapped. And so it was like we couldn't figure out life. We didn't have time to think, we didn't have time to grieve, we just had to figure out what we were gonna do with her, how we were gonna help his sister care for her. And she passed away two years after his dad did. And following that was just a couple years of intense depression in my husband, of course, yeah, the tragedy that he had experienced. And some of those were our lowest seasons. But now, looking back on them, like those are the seasons when I felt lonely, when I felt rejected, when I felt isolated and like I had no hope. Now, those are the seasons I get to talk about and share hope with other people because we made it out. And he is the most incredible human I have ever known in my entire life. And to see what he's fought through and what we have fought through, like there is hope. There is always so much hope to get through all the hard seasons. And so that really birthed wanting to share with other people that there's always hope.

SPEAKER_00 8:49

Well, a lot of people want, they say they want to write a book. It's a good idea. It sounds really great to say that you've authored a book, but what does that act that process actually look like? Because I'm sure it's a lot more work than someone might think.

unknown 9:06

Right.

SPEAKER_01 9:07

No, it for sure is. And it was a lot more than what I thought when I said I wanted to write something. Uh, I think the hardest part is you just have to show up to it.

SPEAKER_00 9:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:17

Every single day. I mean, even if you're writing one sentence, you have to commit to showing up to it. And showing up when you don't even know what you're gonna write. Yeah. You know, that was my hardest part is I was like, if I didn't feel whatever I was wanting to write, then I would walk away for the day. And for a long time I did that. And that's why I and I think writing books takes a long time. Yeah. It can take a long time, yeah. But I think I could have done it quicker if I would have just shown up to it more often. So that was that was a big thing for me. And I heard someone say once, uh, like brain dump, like just brain dump everything in your brain, just dump it on the piece of paper and just write. Don't worry about punctuation or spelling. I also um what is his name? John Acuff, I think, maybe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I listened to a podcast that he did once, and he writes all of his books by hand in a spiral journal first. And that was super helpful for me because coming from someone who loved journaling, yeah, yeah, typing a book never feels like work, right? For sure, yeah. Like I just couldn't do it. And so once I was like, oh, that it's okay to do that, okay. I started just handwriting a lot of my stuff, and then I would, you know, turn it over into a document on my own.

SPEAKER_00 10:28

Well, and I think handwriting it too, it probably helps you get out of that perfectionist, you know what I mean? Because you're not worried about the punctuation when you're just writing and journaling, so to speak.

SPEAKER_01 10:38

Yeah, and it just feels more a little more authentic, you know. Yeah, so yeah, that that was a hard one for me to grasp. But once I started doing that, it started flowing. And then you get to, you know, the editing when you get to the final product, which took so much longer than what I thought. I had a my best friend, she uh edited the whole thing for me. You know, I self-published on Amazon. Yeah, uh, partially I mean, being an English major, I feel like you're qualified. Yeah, hopefully there's hopefully that paid off. That's what my husband, he's always like, You didn't use your degree for anything, and now I'm like, I'm using it, this is great. Uh, but editing took so long, and you know, she would she would mark it up on the paper and send it to me. And I knew I wanted to do self-published for this one at least, because I it was it was like a heart book for myself, and I didn't need someone couldn't read that and be like, you need to change this and this, this, and this. Because even my friend would tell me, I think you should reword this, and I'm like, no, you know, how I want to work in my heart, yeah. So if I did one in the future, I would look into maybe a publisher, uh, just completely different, you know, royalties and all that is a whole nother thing. But uh yeah, once we got the editing down and then publishing through Amazon, it really was amazing. It was so simple and helpful. Uh Chat GBT helped me a ton with like, why won't this cover work? And um, but yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:02

Well, it truly put everything in your hands where you could do everything the way you wanted to do. But I do think probably the knowledge you have prepared you more than it would me to do something like that. But I love when someone just decides they're gonna do something and they just figure it out. Yeah, right. Yes. So many times we can let needing to know all the steps and to feel like we are an expert in something to do something and it's not required.

SPEAKER_01 12:29

Oh, yeah, I'm absolutely not an expert. When you were like, let's talk about the behind the scenes of book writing, I'm like, I don't know anything, but but you did it, so therefore you do know something.

SPEAKER_00 12:39

You you know more than I do because I've never done it, right? And I think that can be such a setback for us to want to be the expert or to feel qualified or quantified to be able to say that. But um, no, you did the thing, you had it, it's published, it's out there. People can get it on Amazon. Is that the only place people can get it? Which we'll talk more about later, too. But so on Amazon, it's there. Um, what what helped keep you disciplined to this process?

SPEAKER_01 13:10

Probably uh, gosh, I mean, my husband is such a support system for me. Um, I mean, he let me leave my job at ministry to chase after a dream that pays nothing, basically. Yeah, very little, yeah. And so I think for me, I found the motivation in that for one, you know, like I'm taking this leap, I'm taking this jump, I'm gonna chase after going all in for sure, yeah. And I also, you know, for me and my faith being such an important part in my life, I didn't want to do a disservice or discredit to what God had done and what God had spoken in my heart to share with other people. And so I would have to tell myself, okay, but this is what I feel like I'm called to do. So by not doing it, I'm not showing up for God. And He's shown up for me every single time. So I can't even show up for this one thing. And so that was like the real motivation for me. You know, I felt this call and I'm just gonna do it and trust that whatever happens, happens, and I'm not gonna hold it all, which has been hard.

SPEAKER_00 14:12

Yeah. Um, but yeah, well, that that can definitely be some great motivators. Yes, when you put everything on the line for sure. Right. So did the book change while you were writing it, like what you expected it to be or the direction you expected it to go, did that change at all through this to the through the process? Right.

SPEAKER_01 14:33

It did, you know. I uh when I started writing originally, I didn't know it was gonna be a uh devotional. Uh I kind of just started with my own story and I thought it was gonna be more of sharing my heart and things I've learned. But then through the processes when I started finding a passion for storytelling from myself in order to invite people into their story.

SPEAKER_00 14:57

So that was an added for sure, yeah. It just developed into that then. Yeah, it was pretty cool. So, what about the process was harder than you expected it would be? Aside from just sitting down and showing up. Right.

SPEAKER_01 15:11

Yeah, that was definitely one of the hardest. Um you know, one of the things I learned most about doing this is if if I don't have my things within me figured out, um, or not figured out necessarily, but addressed, they came out in writing. So I'm sharing a lot of my heart and painful memories, painful stories. And it brought up a lot in me that I learned I had to address before I could write about it. You know, if I hadn't looked in and I'm in counseling, you know, that's something that's super big in our family. And there would be times I would go to my counselor and be like, okay, writing this, we need to talk about this this week because this really bothered me. Um, but I just learned that when you're writing and being vulnerable and chasing your dreams, all your insecurities come out. Yeah. Which is amazing. Like it's amazing to get to learn and be transformed in the process of sharing your heart. Um, but that was something I did not expect. I thought I was gonna show up to writing and it was gonna be all the things I had figured out. And it was like, oh yeah, I have not addressed this since me. Yeah. But that was probably one of the biggest lessons I've I learned through writing is I also have to figure out my own pain and look at it and address it before I can even talk about it to anybody else.

SPEAKER_00 16:34

Well, something we say a lot on this podcast is no one has it all figured out, and that's just a testament. Even in life, not just in business, even in life, nobody has it all figured out. For sure. Yeah. But we're we're working through it. Exactly. Yeah, we're writing through it. Yes, exactly. We'll never get there fully, but yes, we're we're all trying together. Yeah. So for someone who is writing potentially, how do you know when a book is ready to publish? I don't think you do.

SPEAKER_01 17:03

I I published LilyPaths and then I put it like a hundred yards away from me for probably three months. I didn't want to look at it. I couldn't read back through it. Yeah. Because I'm like, this is awful. This what was I thinking? Uh, I even thought about, you know, I had sent out the text to all my friends that I published it. A lot of my friends bought it, and then I was like, I could take it off of Amazon now. Like, you know, I got it in a few people's hands. Like, this, this is a lot. This is super vulnerable. Just share all this. Um, and I feel like I could have gone through and edited that book a hundred times and never hit public.

SPEAKER_00 17:39

And it would have been a different book, though.

SPEAKER_01 17:40

Exactly. For sure. Yeah. It wouldn't have been what my heart originally was. So I don't think you do know. For me, I did not know. I think you just have to do it. And one cool thing about Amazon is I, and I'm kind of in the process of going through and tweaking a few things and now that I can go back through it. And you can re take the publication down and then just republish it and it'd be your updated version. Yeah, like a new edition or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And no one has to know that it's different, you know, that buys it moving on, uh, which is a really cool thing with the publishing through Amazon, is you have the ability, like, okay, if I do need to make some edits, or you know, this didn't that now that I'm reading back, this doesn't feel right.

SPEAKER_00 18:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:23

You can change it and then upload again.

SPEAKER_00 18:25

Now side note, I just have to know. Admittedly, I have not read the book yet. Yeah. Did you buy one? Oh yes, yeah. I actually brought two, so that's exciting. So I don't know how much did you bring other people into the book, but like, is that something that you had to talk with people about? Hey, I'm gonna be sharing the story, or did was that part of the process?

SPEAKER_01 18:52

Yes, that's actually a great question because so much of the book is about uh my story, but also my story with my husband.

SPEAKER_00 19:01

Yeah, no one's story is uninvolved from other people.

SPEAKER_01 19:03

Okay, yeah, which is so hard, you know. And even and I didn't talk too much about like my parents and childhood, but there is a there is a story in there talking about uh my mom and our relationship, and that was even something her and I kind of dialogued about before. Uh, because it is hard, you know, it's it's my story still. Like my story is you have the right to share it, right? But you also want to like respect other people. And I would mention to my husband, he's such an open book, he's probably the one I least talk to about it and first because he doesn't care. Um, but there is there was there was definitely those conversations that I'm like, okay, I need to talk with this person probably before and I tried in my stories, it's solely focused on me and where I was mentally, my heart. Um, but yeah, that is an interesting aspect to it.

SPEAKER_00 19:54

Well, it's gotta be because when you're the person that you know is being re you know, you're involved in that part of the story. You could read anything into it, right? And when when, like you're saying, it the focus was on me and how it affected me and my process.

SPEAKER_01 20:10

But yeah, they you know, anyone could read into it for sure, yeah, and be offended by it and feelings hurt by it. And so far, my mom, she did share with me. She was like, It is such a weird experience to read this, being your mom, yeah, and knowing all of those seasons, but obviously not seeing within me. Yeah, and she's like, Sometimes I just have to put it down, like I can't keep reading it because seeing her daughter, those moments she was in playing or her being, yeah, she's like, that's so hard.

SPEAKER_00 20:37

And for you as a parent, too. Yeah, you can imagine, right? Yes. Like, she's probably like, what? I couldn't fix everything. This is how I would be. Yeah. Oh man, it's hard. I know. That's hard. I can only imagine. Um, so what does self-doubt sound like during a project like this?

SPEAKER_01 20:57

Oh, well, it's constant, which is I am sure. Yeah, um, for me, it was I am not good enough. Anything I wrote isn't good enough. I'm not sharing it correctly. And then there's the mental war of is this my voice? Am I trying to write this for me? Am I trying to make myself famous? Uh anything that challenged words on the page, I tried to like surrender it and say, you know what, I'm gonna write it. And my hope is if it if this is not uh, you know, coming from God or if this is not, you know, what I truly want to say, that it would be like a void in someone else's mind and heart, and they would just look over that page or whatever. But it was um, and that's been you know, I left ministry to pursue this, which is such a different different world because in ministry there's people around to help, there's people around to care for, you know, there's always something to do that felt meaningful and purposeful, and so walking away. From that in a world where I'm by myself at a desk all the time. Just feels like, who am I? What am I even doing? I ask that question every day. What what the heck am I even doing right now? Because it just was so different. And it it was it something I think that is always there. But I my counselor um is just like the bees knees. And we do something called story work. And it's just going back when I have these thoughts or feelings, she takes me back to okay, when did you feel that in like when can you first remember that feeling? And you know, through that, I have found so much freedom and a lot of the self-doubt because I'm like, this isn't my voice, this isn't God's voice, this is that soccer coach's voice or that boy's voice, you know, when I was young. And through that, I've been able to make it out alive, but it is something that's like there literally constantly.

SPEAKER_00 22:51

Yeah, and I think for everyone, for sure. I'm sure for everyone. So, what have you learned about the business side of being an author?

unknown 23:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:00

The thing that people people are like, What I thought I was just gonna write a book, but then you gotta get the book out there. Right. And when you're taking it seriously like you are, it it truly is a business. For sure. Yeah, it really is.

SPEAKER_01 23:12

Well, and that's the hard part is I think I thought I was gonna publish this book and then I was gonna make a decent amount of money, have income for my family, and it just didn't happen like that. I mean, I sold, you know, my first marketing tool was to text everybody at our church to say, Hey, do you wanna buy this book?

SPEAKER_00 23:32

As you should, because think about it, the first line of people who are gonna care about this because they care about you are the people that you know. Right, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 23:40

And we have an amazing community. And so I mean, I think I sold 80 books almost like in the first month, which was so amazing. Uh, that doesn't equate to income at all, you know, in the world of publishing. So that that was a that was kind of a surprise to me is thinking that it would sell more and do more than that. And so then, you know, now I'm on this journey of figuring out what it looks like to share the book outside of just the book. And that's the part that's so terrifying because it's not necessarily rejection at every turn, but you're having to put the ask out there to so many people in hopes that they'll welcome you into like their podcast, like we're doing. And nine times out of ten, you don't get a response or you get a not yet, you know.

SPEAKER_00 24:28

Yeah, and so I'll be honest, it it's frustrating to not get an answer.

SPEAKER_01 24:32

Oh, for sure. Yes, like just answer. Yeah, just tell me no. Just tell me. Oh no, that's great. Yeah, I'm I'd be better with that. But then like that's what we're talking about, is oh, maybe they just haven't seen my message. Do I send another message? Well, how how do it do I find their email? And I've done all of that. Sometimes you gotta do it. Yes, right. And so that side of it's been interesting. Uh, but then I also I mean, this the business side I struggle with is sometimes it feels like I have to sell myself in order to sell the book.

SPEAKER_00 25:02

Yeah, because it feels and I think here's the thing is this isn't unique to books. People who own a business, a lot of times they have that same feeling that they're having to sell themselves, but you're it's not you, right? You know, it is something that you have created, personally created for them, and it's going to it has value and it's gonna benefit them. Right.

SPEAKER_01 25:25

Yeah. Well, and I um, you know, I feel that tension with selling yourself. And I saw um the band Salt is uh a band on Instagram and I saw a reel they posted once when it talked about that very same thing. I mean, they're in the music industry and they feel that tension. And they said something like that tension should always be there. You know, you should always feel that tension to sell yourself in order to sell your book because that is it, you know, there's the humility piece that we, you know, we all wanna we all want to come across as humble and not prideful. Uh but also look at me, you know, watch my video, like it, comment. Um, but they said you should always feel that tension because it isn't the most natural thing. And being aware of that tension makes you aware to not make yourself center stage. Yes, you know.

SPEAKER_00 26:15

If you're not aware of it, you're probably right on the self-promotion thing. You probably are, but you come from being an entrepreneur too. So we should also hit on that. Like, this is not something you are unaware of as far as starting a business. This is literally like starting a business. Yeah, yeah. So, what has your entrepreneur life been like? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:35

Okay, so where it started um was I used to make, I had an Etsy shop and I made home decor signs. You know, I told you I was in ministry. When that journey started, our church did not exist, but I knew I wanted to help with whatever that looked like. And so I would, you know, help with the church and I was passionate about, you know, being available to do things for that to help it grow, but there was absolutely zero funds to pay me as if it were a job. So coming up with these smaller businesses was a way for us to have a little bit of income from me while still pursuing uh, you know, helping plant this church. Right. And so I started the sign business first. And I also I'm not sure I'm a good employee, like the nine to five. I just don't know how to do that and show up to it. Well, like some days I want to sleep in, some days I want to stay up late, you know. It was just being at someone else's beck and call was, you know, a harder for me. And so that kind of started, and then after that, I had a cookie business called uh Simply Sugared, and that was actually like my claim to fame, to entrepreneurship. You know, that was super successful. I had a book calendar for six months in advance, um, and so like baby showers and wedding showers and birthdays. And you're not doing this anymore, and I'm not doing this anymore. I know it it got to be a lot, and it was so much that I almost had to choose if I wanted to do cookies or ministry. And my heart was with ministry, and I thought cookies might be something I could come back to someday. Yeah, uh, but it controlled our lives. Yeah. I mean, it was evenings and weekends and packaging and the mess that was everywhere, you know. Yeah. Uh, but it was so much fun and I loved the I loved building something from nothing. And that's what this is too, is building something from neutral nothing. Yeah. And I have a husband, like I said, who supports me in everything. So while I'm not making much of income in any of those, the cookies was great, but other things, he's always supporting me to like chase after my next dream. Yeah, you know, yeah. So yeah, and then now the now the book. Yes, yes, now and then my husband's super entrepreneurial too um in real estate and yeah, owns his own brokerage too. So it's just our our family, our lifestyle is yeah, entrepreneurial.

SPEAKER_00 28:57

Very much so, yeah. Yeah. So how have you learned about branding? What have you learned about branding yourself and your message? Which I think you kind of came into because you do the Lily letters. Yes. So aside from that really cool analogy and picture that you came with, it fits really nicely, right?

SPEAKER_01 29:16

And that was so not intentional. Um I I learned something in counseling once that uh talked about, I'm gonna butcher it, but it was something along the lines of you know, we all have different parts that make up ourselves. And a counselor I had long ago, she told me, like, you should name those parts. And so I had come up with the name Lily for the girl in me who's like fun and spontaneous, who chases dreams, who's not scared, you know.

SPEAKER_00 29:43

And so when I started the blog, you were gonna be looking at you like, I know that she's got an alternate person. My husband hates when I share this with people.

SPEAKER_01 29:52

He's like, It has a cute split personality. That's so funny. I'm like, Yeah, that's I wish my counselor could describe it for you because she did it better. Um, or it actually probably is as weird as it sounds, but that's no, no, it's not I love it. Uh so that's where Lily letters came in when I started the blog, and so it was so unintentional. Uh that was before lily pads was a thing. And so then lily pads came to mind. I'm like, I guess I have a thing for Lilies, but it worked, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:18

It's I think that it's perfect, like it it did brand unintentionally your message. Yes, yeah. And so how what else have you learned about actually having to brand yourself? But you know, you feel like you're selling yourself, but you're branding yourself, right? Branding your message. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:34

I think, you know, I think I would just go back to I want people to take from me to find something within themselves, to look into their own story. And so I'm still in that process of figuring out what the branding looks like, you know, what what do I post? What do I want to? Because I mean, on social media, you probably know you see people, and you're one of these, like, I'm like, yo, you were born to be on social media. Like, you are so natural. There's so many people who I see their videos and I'm like, they do this so well. And then I try to do it, and I'm like, that is not what theirs look like. A lot of times anyone else will be like, oh, right. I know, yeah. But it has been a process of figuring out, like, okay, what is true to myself in the marketing, in the branding, not what other people are doing. And I'm still in the process of trying to do that. I recently started taking my blog posts and posting them, like condensing them a lot, and then posting, you know, Lily letters out loud on social media, which felt something so personal to me and so like unique to me. And so I get snippets of that. I'm like, okay, this is me. I love doing this. I'm still sharing my message, but it's shorter, it's audio, it's different than making people read. Right. Uh, but then I have like, am I supposed to video myself, take putting on my makeup? No, I I can't do that. I basically can't put that out there, you know. And so it's just finding out, like, okay, what's what's true to me and not what I'm trying to copy somebody else on the internet, because that's when it feels icky for me.

SPEAKER_00 32:07

Well, but it is you being intentional about your platform and about your audience that they know what to expect from you. Right. Because if they saw you doing, I don't know, I'm putting on makeup in a video, right? They might be like, oh, that's weird. Yeah, that's not what she normally does. Exactly. And so it is even if it doesn't like you don't realize it in the moment, it is being intentional with that branding, right? For sure. And knowing what is true to yourself is actually true to your audience as well. For sure. Because you've trained them on what to expect from you, 100%. Yeah, authenticity, vulnerability, right, yeah, all of these things. For sure.

SPEAKER_02 32:43

Yeah, it's good.

SPEAKER_00 32:44

Like we talked about, you and your husband are both entrepreneurs, but what has just that lifestyle taught you about resilience?

SPEAKER_01 32:53

Um, it's taught us a lot of grace, um, you know, for each other, living as entrepreneurs, your schedules are never normal, which is what we love about it, right? You know, we can work all hours of the day. Yeah. But as with, you know, we have a family, we have two daughters, and having that, it's been, you know, we have to be a team. We have to work together. I have to have grace for him to go work late, you know, one night, and then he has to have grace for me, hey, I can't pick up the girls this day because I have this meeting and I have to go to it, you know. And it has taught us, you know, when we can work as a team and have that grace for each other, it feels like we can push through anything. We can do it, you know. But when we start getting um maybe uh self a little selfish and just seeing our business venture as the only thing and not the other, we become competition. Right. So that's been a big thing that we've had to navigate is figuring out that we have to give and take for each other, with each other, and it's all to, you know, benefit the family, uh, but it just looks different than the normal, typical job that a lot of people have.

SPEAKER_00 34:00

Right. Well, speaking of family, how do you navigate ambition while raising a family?

SPEAKER_01 34:07

Yeah, that that's another like tension that I feel. Uh I I found out about three weeks into being a mom that I was not made for stay-at-home movie. Um, my both of my daughters are spit fires. And how old are they now? Six and three. Okay. So still little. Um, my six, she thinks she's 16, which is terrifying. But so that's been something, you know, I realized like, okay, I don't think the stay-at-home mom life is cut out for me. I always have this other thing that's excited about building something, you know. And it it's hard to navigate not seeing the my kids, my girls, as a barrier to business, but instead uh seeing them as something that can like help it move along. And so for me, a huge part of my life is motherhood. And so in my in my story right now and in my marketing, I get to share this the motherhood, like the hard and get to post them on on social media and finding out ways to incorporate that family life and dynamic into the business has been super crucial for us and for me to feel like okay, this this can all work together. It can all mesh well together. Um, it's harder, like it's a lot more effort, you know. Like I'll sometimes set up my tripod to get just videos of the girls playing, and my six-year-old will look instantly and see it, and she'll fix her hair and then try to do cartwheels, and I'm like, okay, that did work. Uh, but it is just incorporating them into it, and I think it's showing them that is one thing, you know, as a mom, what I want to show them more than a lot of things is like chase after your dreams. Have a big dream. Like when I was, you know, a young soccer player, I thought I was gonna be the next Mia Ham, you know, at the on the US Women's Olympics. Yeah. And I'm like, believe that about yourself and chase after it. Yeah. And I want them to see me doing that. I told my six-year-old, I was like, I'm going on a podcast today. She was like, oh my gosh, that is so cool. What's a podcast? I was trying to tell her about it. And she's like, that's so cool, mama. And so just her getting to see me, and I tell her about my failures too. Yeah. You know, I'm like, I've sent the these messages to these people, and none of them responded. You know, I'm sad that nobody wanted me to come do this for them. Um, so it's just bringing them into it has been so hard, but also so much fun. Yes, and it helps them grow, I think.

SPEAKER_00 36:31

100%. They're walking, they are learning. What is that? What is that saying? Come on. What you know, the pr the thing about kids, like most of what they get from you is basically dropped instead of like given. Like what you what you're talking about, you're trying to teach them, right? They learn more from what you're not trying to intentionally teach them. Yeah. I don't know the saying or the quote, but it's out there. Let's think. Okay. My my our pastor. It's caught, not taught. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:58

Yeah, it's good, not taught. Yeah. My pastor should always say, uh, your your talk talks and your walk talks, but your walk talks much louder than your talk. Yeah. Would ever talk or something? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I like that.

SPEAKER_00 37:10

Yeah, that's fun. I know. You can use that. Yeah, I have to repeat it a few times. But what is something you had to learn the hard way through this process?

SPEAKER_01 37:19

Besides everything, besides everything. I I think it would be, and I kind of already touched on this, um, addressing all the things within me that I have shoved under the rug or deep down. Didn't want to shine light on it and heal from it because it felt safer for it to be way deep, deep, deep in my soul. Uh, that's kind of been, you know, I've had days when sharing all this raw and vulnerable stuff that that day specifically has just been super heavy. And I've had to like take the day off from writing, yeah. Or say, like, okay, I wrote this today. That was hard. I'm gonna go to Goodwill. I love thrifting. I'm gonna go to Goodwill for an hour or two. Trick yourself. Exactly. Yeah. To Goodwill. That's why I have a photo shoot coming up, and I, my friend, we were talking, and we're gonna go to Goodwill to find my outfits because I'm like, I love the redemption of Goodwill. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like if someone's called it trash, but I'm gonna buy it and use it. Um, but I think that's been the hardest thing is you know, feeling all the hard emotions that come out and then allowing them to sit there and giving them space to be there. Because I think so often all of us when we feel those, especially in the busyness of life, it's like I don't have time to think about why that really bothered me or why that hurt my feelings, right? Or why I just cried out of nowhere. Uh it's easier to just shove it down. And I haven't been able doing that is inauthentic to what I want to write. And so that's been really hard.

SPEAKER_00 38:52

Yeah. A lot of times, especially being an entrepreneur and building something, yeah, you don't always feel like you have the time to process through those things.

SPEAKER_01 39:02

Yeah. And it feels like if you if you slow down, you'll lose momentum. Yeah. And you won't gain any more ground and then it flops. Yeah. I think there's that fear with all entrepreneurs. That's what my husband talks a lot about. Um, just feeling like you're the ceiling, and the only way the ceiling's gonna move is if I move with it, you know. Yeah. And that's what it feels like as an entrepreneur is you always need to be growing that you that means you can't stop. And I don't think that's always right.

SPEAKER_00 39:29

Yeah, man, that's true. That is true. What do people misunderstand about writing a book?

SPEAKER_01 39:38

I think probably, you know, I people have been surprised when I tell them uh like how much money you make from writing a book. Yeah. Like how many books you have to sell to make anything. Yeah. So I think when you know, when I sell mine, I don't even know if this is okay to share, but when I sell mine on Amazon, I think I get four dollars from that. And I think people have been so shocked that, oh, that's all, like that's all you make. And I think that's good.

SPEAKER_00 40:02

Yeah, they don't understand you're actually manually, you know, because this is something Amazon does. Am I wrong? They fulfill, they do all the fulfillment. Yes, they ship it, yep, they make, they print it, print it, yep, all of that. All of it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:15

I mean, so when you go and buy it on Amazon, I do nothing, it just pops up as an order on my end, and that's and you're like, Yay! This is great, yeah. I got one this month. Um, so I think that's been something I've heard people are surprised about. Um, but I honestly think people, everyone I've known, they'll say, like, oh my gosh, I can't believe you wrote you wrote this. You know, that's gotta be so hard. I think people understand that part.

SPEAKER_02 40:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:40

But I think the time that it takes to actually show up to writing is something people would probably be surprised about. And in 50 years, I think I'll make $3 an hour for all the time, you know, that I spent writing this. Uh, I think that's something people would probably be surprised about.

SPEAKER_00 40:58

Right. It is something that has to be a something that's in your heart to do. For sure. Yeah. Or, you know, that you want to add value. I think every author out there somehow there's underneath all of their intentions for writing, there they want to add value. Or, you know, some might be entertained, but it's adding value. For sure. Yes. They'd have to. Yeah. What advice would you give someone who feels called to create something but is putting it off? I mean, aside from just do it, uh as Nike would say.

SPEAKER_01 41:29

Yeah, just do it. Um, I think probably realistically for me, and practically, I would say if it's showing up 15 minutes, block out 15 minutes of your day and say you're gonna devote it to this. Um, if you know, I think when you have a time frame, you know you don't have to, you know, spend a whole day doing it, that feels easier. So starting starting smaller and just build in 30 minutes this day and then an hour another day and just build up to it. Um, but I think any amount of energy you can give to it, not only does that help produce something, but it builds momentum within you to show up the next day and do it. Uh, but then also one of our family core values is we do hard things. And so yeah, it's gonna be hard to show up to it, but that doesn't mean you don't do it, yeah. And that's been a big thing that I would tell anybody is yeah, you do hard things though. You've done a lot of hard things in life. So you can show up to this and you can persevere. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 42:26

Yeah. Yeah. What are you dreaming about right now?

SPEAKER_01 42:30

So I probably I a couple things. So I am working towards and just dreaming about getting to speak about the book in other places, yeah, you know, women's conferences, Bible studies. I leave a lead a Bible study at my house, and that's super fun to get to like, you know, encourage women there. So I have a dream to do that in more spaces, and then I also have dreams to write more books, uh, more actual books, not devotional styles. And I have been forcing myself to read more, which surprisingly is the best motivator to sit down and read a book and get ideas from it. I just started The Alchemist yesterday.

SPEAKER_00 43:11

Okay, I've heard of this.

SPEAKER_01 43:12

Yeah, and I'm already having so many ideas of you know, something that's on my desktop that I've been wanting to write, how he, you know, describes this metaphor of his life. I'm like, oh my gosh, I could turn this into that. And so reading has been something to really help give me ideas and stretch me and you know, look at things differently. Yeah. So that's been a really big one. So doing that, I feel like I'm dreaming about this next book that I want to write and what it would look like and you know how I would do it.

SPEAKER_00 43:40

So yes. So do you think writing is something you'll always do? Do you think this is a forever thing or a season that is this a lily pad? Right? Or is this I wish I knew.

SPEAKER_01 43:51

Um, I would think it would be a pretty big lily pad. I have no idea what I would do after. Um, I think it will always be. Be a thing regardless of if like if I do have another job someday, I think I still will write in the blog and I will still journal. And then maybe the process would just be a lot longer, you know. But I think writing is has always been a part of my life. So I think it forever will be a part of my life.

SPEAKER_00 44:17

Yeah. Putting that degree to goodness. Yes, I know. Finally, it's worth it. Oh, all those student loans. But you will like you mentioned, you will continue, you're still continuing with the Lily letter. So is that once a week the same day every week, or how do people get in on that?

SPEAKER_01 44:34

So um I have the links on like my Instagram, uh-huh, you know, where you can go, you can read the latest blog, or you can um put in your email and then it'll automatically go to your email every week. Nice. Um and it's usually every Monday. Okay. Sometimes might be Tuesday. But my goal is to send it out on Monday because then I can post it on Monday, and then like right now, I'm spending the week writing the next blog that I'll post next Monday. So I posted one recently and someone was like, oh my gosh, I didn't know like this was going on this week. And I was like, It's actually two weeks ago. Yeah, no, it's fine.

SPEAKER_00 45:07

Yeah, uh, so yeah, Monday. Timeline is fluid for sure. Always everything is fluid in entrepreneurship. Yes. So before we close, I always ask this question what is one thing you don't have fully figured out yet, but you're choosing to build through anyway.

SPEAKER_01 45:22

So I might have already answered this. I think it would be the uh learning to uh be okay with myself being out there, selling myself. Um that's been my biggest learning curve and my biggest, you know, self-doubt questions that go through my head every day is am I selling myself or am I just trying to share the story of the book? Uh and so I'm learning to put myself out there more, I'm learning to take more risks. You know, I've sent so many messages to people that like you said never got a response. Yeah. Um, and I'm learning, so I said our family core value is do it scared or we do hard things, but do it scared is another one. And mine lately is do it embarrassed because a lot of times it embarrasses me to reach out to somebody with the possibility of rejection. And so right now I'm learning, like I'm gonna do it embarrassed. Who cares? You know, if that feels icky, if I'm embarrassed by the reaction or lack of reaction, but I'm gonna do it anyway.

SPEAKER_00 46:22

I'm gonna show up to it anyway. Yeah, yeah. I've gotta say this because this is I could a hundred percent see how you feel this way because it is so personal. Yeah, it's your message, it's your brand. You are your brand. Yeah, right. But it it relates to anyone in business. Like you said, if you feel there's a lot of uh videos around like a trend, I guess, of being like, you know, if you feel if you feel if you feel like you're what you're putting out there is cringy, just do it anyway. Yes, you know, yeah. You've seen that probably. Yeah, those videos. Well, but it's the same thing of reach out because if the people don't know about you because they don't know about you. It's not because they already heard about you and are like, uh no, not interested. It's because they truly don't know. Right. If you want anyone to know, you're gonna have to be the one to tell them. Right, for sure. Yeah, it's really good. You put it out there and don't feel embarrassed. If you do, who cares? Fill it and move on. Right. Yeah, yeah. Don't feel like that you're that you are, you know, this big, tiny whatever that imposter syndrome is such a big thing, I feel like, in our world, you know.

SPEAKER_01 47:26

Who am I to do this? You know, who am I?

SPEAKER_00 47:28

You're Shelby Gardner. Exactly. That's who you are, authors, and now they're gonna know, even if they don't want to have you at their event, or even if whatever, they don't want to carry your book. I don't know, whatever the scenario. They know who you are. For sure. Yeah, that's better than before you messaged them because they didn't know who you were. So true, yeah. So you go do it. Oh, good, reach it. Go do it. Okay, so for people who want to connect with you and find your book or find Lily Letters online, tell us how to do all those things.

SPEAKER_01 47:54

I think the best place would be to go to shelbygardener.com. Easy. Yes. I um have the link to my blog. I have the link to sign up for the blog. Um, I has a spot. Like if you want me to speak at any event, you know, it has all the things that uh AI told me to put on there.

SPEAKER_00 48:10

So uh that would be the best place. Yeah, and you can purchase like it has a link there for Amazon. Yes. You can go directly to the book and get it. Yep. Awesome. Well, you heard it. You know now your next your next book, your next read is right here, already provided. So that is it for this session of the back office. If this conversation gave you clarity, a new angle, or even just a reminder that you're not the only one navigating this, then it did its job. Take what's useful, apply it, move on it, because no one has it fully figured out, but we are building anyway. And if you found this valuable, share it with another operator who's also building. And you can always hang out with us in between sessions at Signify Marketing Social. I'm Delena Dillon, and we will see you next time.